


Royal Flush

by Aminias



Category: Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: BAMF Stiles, Deadpool highkey wants the booty, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Healthy Mix of Fluff, M/M, Magic Stiles, Multi, Polyamory, Stiles Feels, Stiles is Legal, Stiles lowkey down with all this, Vanessa keeping everything real, dash of angst, love at first snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:16:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10188737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aminias/pseuds/Aminias
Summary: Play your cards right, and fold if you don't like the hand you're dealt.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Twisted_Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mind/gifts).



> Huge thanks to Aiden_the_odd_one and Slasher Fiend they make things look pretty and polished for everyone and bring me down to earth :)
> 
> For Twist who sparked the idea.

Deadpool is a badass ok, a complete badass. He has totally...not got this. See the thing about leading monsters on a merry chase in a small town is the small town part of the equation. Maybe the monster part too. You might be saying to yourself “Deadpool you're an idiot that's an alleyway dead ahead ” to which I’d reply “Once you go dead no one's better in bed, and no that's an opportunity for bad guys dying, fuckwit get it right.”

 

Whatever it was had glowing eyes and a penchant for healing up. Hopefully it wouldn't survive a good katana gutting. The beast drew closer.

“You should try Trident,” Deadpool panted. “Excellent for the breath.”

He dived out of the way of searching claws. He drew his blades. Another creature rounded the corner along with it a disheveled looking short-haired man. The same one who'd been hanging out around Fifth all week. His hands were also very clearly glowing.

“Yo, flat foot, little help!” He shouted. The young man who was trying to heavily pretend he wasn't a cop turned around from where he'd warded off the hell-beast numero dos. His expression clearly conveying: aw shucks, miss. My hands aren't glowing; no ma'am.

"How can I be sure this thing is dead?" Sparky seemed to know what he was doing and it didn't hurt to ask.

“Did you try beheading or burning?”

“Marry me,” Deadpool offered.

The young man adjusted his coat which had fallen askew. “Are you sober?”

“Yep, still likely to get pulled over,” Deadpool admitted.

“Nothin’ ever changes ‘cept the red light?” 

“Precisely, my dear boy!” Whiskey eyes peered at him in concern, amusement coloring a dark amber that swirled in the pupil. Deadpool happily drank every lean inch of him in.

“What do you need besides a lot of stitches?”

“No bactine.”

Stiles had heard stranger requests. He carried kits with him. Running with wolves will do that to a guy, besides he’d seen beast one take a chunk out of this guy and he kept going. 

The spandex-clad man shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head in thought. Deadpool rested his chin on his fist, nodding to himself. Stiles did his best to not watch. He let his eyes skirt the obnoxiously loud red and black costumed figure. Pointedly did not notice the tight tight nature of the outfit. It’s spandex of course it’s tight. He swallowed. Fuck it. Not like there is anything else interesting to look at around here. If he stared at the Shell gas station sign any longer it’d explode. For his part Deadpool seemed to be considering something at length and had yet to notice Stiles’ confliction.

Finally, his head snapped up, eyes staring directly at Stiles.

“Please tell me you're not team Tony or this relationship is over.”

“Ok, I won't tell you that I’m team Tony.”

“Breaking my heart.”

“That’s not the only thing that will break if you don't keep your hands to yourself.”

“But your jawline is so pretty Nurse Florence.”

Stiles smiled.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have lips fit for-”

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.”

“I think I do though.”

“Forget breaking your hands I’m going to cut them off. I know it won't take, but it'd still put you out of my misery for a few hours."

“Kinky, sign me the fuck up.” Wade mumbled

Stiles made motions of stabbing him harshly with the needle.

“If you wanted to poke me so badly...”

“Its bigger than a needle I promise you.” Stiles snarked back adding a few more stitches.

“Pinky swear.” The red suited man offered his finger.

Stiles grinned. “Pinky swear.”

“I’m fully expecting a live demo since you made the sacred oath.”

“Isn't that uh.” He looked in the direction of the club where a dark haired women with poise usually waited. The man seemed to understand his struggle on how to word this.

“Incredibly sexy woman.”

Stiles blushed. “Incredibly sexy woman your girlfriend?”

“You’re right she’d want to be there too.”

Doe eyes blinked, a red flush bloomed over the boy's skin.

Delicious Deadpool thought. Wait down boy. How did this kid know about Vannessa? Sure he'd been seeing the younger man around a lot in these parts recently, while Beacon Hills was small it wasn't spaghetti western type small. Deadpool didn't exactly advertise when he hung around waiting to pick V up. If this guy knew then chances were everyone else did.

"For a cop you’re not so bad." To give him some credit the only thing that gave him away was those eyes going impossibly wider.

"For a katana wielding maniac you're not so bad either."

"That just warms the cockles of my heart, you know what else could use warming?"

"No but I can guess."

"Last night’s leftovers. Waffles for dinner it's the only way." Deadpool solemnly began.

"Say sparky not that I don't appreciate the help but what's a dirty part of town doing in a cop like this? Or maybe it's the other way around? You taking bribes?"

Deadpool pressed a gloved finger to his lips. "Shh I won't tell."

"I mean...I'm not going to turn any money down."

"Well call me Daddy."

Suspected cop shifted awkwardly. "I'm not a police officer."

"Better."

He winced. "I’m a cop’s kid."

"Worse."

"Jail bait, that’s me."

"The course of true love never did run easy sparky.”

“Sparky huh? Did I shock you with all my slick moves?”

“The bit where you got rid of the second beastie was real smooth.”

“Had my fair share of practice.” The young man fishes some more gauze out of his pocket, taping it down. 

“Almost done, hold still!” 

Deadpool squirmed. “I got places to be.”

“So do I, but you don’t see me trying to tear my fresh stitches!” 

“You don’t have any stitches.”

Sparky gave him a look, clearly unimpressed with that assessment. 

“Ow! I’m not a push pin.”

“Really? My bad, won’t happen again.”

“You filthy liar.” 

“I’m rather clean. Judging by the smell it's you stinking up the place.”

“This suit is laundered twice a week ok. You know how hard leather is to clean?!”

“Have you considered a different outfit?”

“It’s my signature wear.” 

The boy puzzled this over.

“Reminds me a bit of this man...”

“Oh yeah? This man who Jail bait?”

“Rhymes with wider man.”

“Spider-man. Come on sweet cheeks low blow.”

“That’s what she said.”

They both shared a look and laughter filled the alley. 

“That should be it.” Those slender fingers which had so carefully threaded together his wounds were a source of warmth. His ass was nearly frozen from where it connected to the concrete. Deadpool blinked. Around them was the tell tale sounds of evening traffic, a symphony of honks and screeches from vehicles filled the air. 

“Wade.”

“Uh no, I don’t tend to. Especially not in eel infested waters.” He shuffled his feet and tugged on the pocket of his jacket, slipping the first aid supplies back into the large coats’ depths. 

“My name Sparky. Wade, Wade Wilson and you are Mrs. Moneypenny?”

“The names Stiles Mr. Bond.” He smiled, the last rays of the fading light reflected in his eyes, catching the brown and turning them a liquid amber. 

“Shit I’m going to be late.” Deadpool cursed to himself. He couldn’t stand to see the worry, the concern Stiles had for him in the last hour replayed on Vanessa's face if he was late to pick her up. Hell hath no fury like a women in love with you. 

  
  



End file.
